Doris C Bury

1932 – 2022

Danielson – Doris (Durocher) Bury, 89, of Danielson, CT, passed away Friday, January 7, 2022, at Day Kimball Hospital. Born at home in Brooklyn-West Wauregan on April 3, 1932. She was the daughter of the late Patrick and late Rose (Millette) Durocher.

Doris is survived by three daughters, Cheryl and Michael Bryer of Dayville, CT, Bonnie Bury and David Randhan of Hartford, TN, Jo Ann Rogers and Peter Hogan of Raymond, ME; one sister, Gloria Berthiaume of Brooklyn; three grandchildren, Robert, Joshua, and Victoria; and several nieces, nephews, and many special cousins.

She was predeceased by her former husband, Joseph Bury, two brothers, Roger Durocher and Wilfred Durocher; one sister, Patrica Fishkin, and one granddaughter, Krystyna Giebultowski.

Joshua States:

My Meme, Doris Bury, passed at age 89 this morning. She was a formidable woman.

Meme always said “If you didn’t celebrate me in life, you don’t get to cry when I’m dead.” So, I choose to celebrate her in life and death.

Family, education, and service were core to her being. She grew up on a farm in rural CT. They lived a hard life, but one full of wonder and adventure. Stories of her youth could make me laugh and cry at the same time, in part because of the situation and in part for her being a skilled story teller. Lessons she taught me play a large part in who I am and what I do. Unfortunately, she and her siblings lost both their parents before she was 16. Nevertheless, her eldest brother and his new wife raised her, and their two younger sisters. She was among the first in her family to graduate high school, the same one I’d graduate from 60 years later. She raised my mom, who was much younger than her two older sisters, as a single mother after she divorced her husband (they were Catholic and this was in the 70s…). Later, she helped raise my sister and me like a second mother while my parents worked multiple jobs for us to have the best life possible. She was one of the first to teach me that family isn’t in names or in blood but rather in the love that is shared and fostered.

She donated immense quantities of time to her community. As her children grew up, she was a 4H leader and taught home economics. For most of her adult life, she organized Catholic and interfaith gatherings of women across New England to share in faith and charity, most famously for knitting scores of the most precious blankets, hats, and crocheted animals for newborns at our local hospital (and for dear friends, too). Recently, my mom told me how she administered communion to those on hospice and held space with the sickest in their final moments. She was among the richest in spirit I have been lucky to know.

Over the years, she took business administration classes at local community colleges and even one of the first computer programming courses offered at UConn, “just to stay sharp.” She was a voracious reader, so as I grew up, books were a popular gift and always welcomed. When I was accepted to the University of Pennsylvania, the first in my family, she was just as proud and excited as my parents, if not more, even though she knew I’d be going away. She gladly spent her pension to help get me situated in Philadelphia but also on every Amtrak ride home she could, and would spend more money in shipping than in baking just to make sure my friends and I had her cookies in time for finals. Meme was also famous in my dorm for sending me funny newspaper articles from “The Quiet Corner” including variations of “cow roams road, blocks traffic.” You just can’t make this stuff up.

Everywhere I go, I carry her and a large part of home. Everyone says this, but call and write your loved ones more often. I wish I had. May she rest in peace and that I always carry her legacy.

Donations may be made in her memory to D. K. H. Hospice, PetPals of NE CT, or charity of your choice.

Services and burial will be private. Celebration of life to be scheduled this Spring.

For memorial guestbook visit www.GilmanAndValade.com.